I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
