so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
