i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
