I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
