Heybabeimwearingurpanties
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
