Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
