I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You can't just leave with hair like that
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
