Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
