I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We need to get me chipped asap
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
