im six kinds of drunk right now
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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