I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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