Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
