Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
