That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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