they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
