you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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