Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
