you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
