she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
