Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
