So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
