So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's always time for handjobs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
