Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
