I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
