im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
