New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
