Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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