My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
