They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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