It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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