So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
