Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
People with herpes should wear stickers.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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