Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
