What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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