He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
