So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
