You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
