let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
