My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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