Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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