I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
