PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
