He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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