SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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