Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My penis needs a shock collar
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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