yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
