You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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