You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
