forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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