he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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