Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
