He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
